Lessons in Fear

I'll admit that there are very few things that scare me...spiders, zombies, losing things I love...horseback riding is not and has never been something I'm afraid. I have broken my back and my nose, sprained all of my limbs, been kicked, bitten, stepped on, smashed, thrown, and impaled but that has never stopped me. Heck, the first thing when I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of before I go to bed is horses but more specifically riding dressage. Nevertheless, April 22nd's lesson enlightened me as to what fears I had yet to discover, hence why it has taken me so long to write a blog about it.

Buddy and I had a lesson with Lynn in the early afternoon and of course the weather had to do something out of the ordinary. The week before and the days leading up to the lesson had all been sunny and in the low 80's/high 70's. Sunday proved to be rainy and in the low 60's...greeaat! That wasn't the only difficulty we faced. For some reason, the receiver box for Lynn's teaching system was acting up and cutting in and out regularly resulting in mixed/missed instructions and quite a bit of frustration. Buddy, luckily, was awesome with a really willing attitude and lots of highlights in his work.

Lynn asked what I wanted to work on and I told her to just watch and comment on whatever she saw problems with. We did lots of trot transitions into walk and halt to help square him up. The quality of his trot was AWESOME! We worked on keeping him up in the corners and not letting him drop at all which kept him better prepared for his shoulder-in/renvers/travers down the long-side. We moved into the caner and again she commented on how much this canter has improved in the last couple of weeks, yay!!!

Next, we discussed what I had signed up for at Dressage in the Sandhills and someone (can't remember if it was someone auditing the lesson or my dad...probably my dad because I think he is sick of watching 2nd level) questioned why I wasn't doing Third level. I remarked that although Buddy's canter is getting better, it is nowhere near what it needs to be to successfully do 3rd level.  Lynn told me all we needed was one flying change each direction to do 3-1, but I just didn't feel comfortable. She said that we were going to need to start schooling changes eventually and why not start now. We were three weeks from the show and it couldn't hurt to see where we were starting from. I did the only change I knew how to (I know it's wrong but my body decides to use it as a defense mechanism when I feel hurried or tense due to the on-coming change). Luckily, Buddy was super and did a quiet although late change. Lynn made a big deal that it was not that bad but I needed to do the exercise the way she originally explained it (granted, I didn't hear it due to mic problems). I went to perform the canter leg yield from right to left, maintaining the left lead and helping to make the previous outside concave and the new outside convex. Then the theory is to put the left leg back and push forward with the right hip while giving with the right rein to help encourage the new lead...my body had other plans. I fell back into my horrible habit of leaning forward, putting the leg back and pulling with the inside hand, this led to Buddy's head in the air, rushing around the corner and only flipping the lead in the front...in other words total CHAOS!!! Lynn was a little frustrated that I did exactly everything she told me not to basically setting Buddy up for failure. That is when I lost it. It had hit me, teaching the flying change was scaring me. I wasn't afraid of the change necessarily but more for doing it wrong which would result in the frantic running around. Lynn re-explained the exercise and had me do the whole thing again with the exception of the actual change. We turned that into a simple since the exercise would help those too in the long run. Unfortunately, I was too shaken to be pleased with how well Buddy was doing. With tears welling in my eyes, I managed to sit back and make the conscious effort to not ride my bad habit. I had to sit up and slow Buddy down with my whole body to make sure I wasn't hustling him in the canter leg-yield to get through the change in order to move onto another movement that I was comfortable with. The rest of the lesson was this exercise in both directions. I had my homework to do this over the next two weeks in order to improve the canter.

Once the lesson was over, I went back to the barn in order to untack Buddy. That's when the waterworks started...and I couldn't get them to stop! While untacking and systematically wiping the tears from my face, I managed to get my thoughts together on why this was so upsetting for me. I had had a really hard time teaching DJ the change (and still do!) which has made me dread them. They come hurried and flat and there is nothing calm about them. I haven't even been able to ride one on a horse that is already trained. My body literally doesn't know what to do and I freeze forgetting everything that I already know. I result to the old stand-by of bad hunter riding and leaning forward and pulling on the rein of the new lead. It frustrates me that I can't break this habit, that I fret that much about it which means I'm transferring this negative energy to my horse and that I let myself get this upset about it.

Now I know. There is something new that scares me and it's not the flying change, it's the fear of doing it wrong or late. I can't let it get to me but I have a LONG way to go before it stops bothering me. I can set a minor goal for now of attempting to not get a knot in my stomach when the idea of doing flying changes on either of my horses is mentioned. Hopefully, there will be less tears in this Saturday's lesson.

First Show of the Season: March Magic Dressage

Well, it's here!!! The start of show season has come!!! Most people say their favorite season is spring when the flowers come in, fall when the leaves change, summer for time at the beach or winter to play in the snow, but none of this works for me. I love show season for clean tack, fresh saddle pads, blinging browbands, fancy show clothes, vendors, greasy food, old friends, new friends, and pretty ribbons. This year we started the 2012 season with a new show for us. March Magic is held in Williamston, NC (a tiny town with literally NOTHING around or in it besides the Ag Center). We got there in about 2 hours and Buddy settled in right away. The stalls were lovely open and airy. They even had the option to hang their heads out of their stalls. Not many competition grounds give that option.

Our first class wasn't until Friday, so Thursday night all we did was take a quick hack in the Coliseum to make sure nothing was going to freak Buddy out in Friday's class. He was a super star so we tucked him in and went back to relax in the hotel for the rest of the evening. 

Friday morning I was up early to braid a couple horses that I volunteered to do last minute since the show braider was overbooked. I met some nice women (one who lives close to me!) and made some nice money in the process. The rest of the day was spent watching my teammates and Lynn ride their tests. Around 2:30, it was time to give Buddy his bath and then braid before we had to be on for our 4:35 warm-up. We were going to do our first qualifier for GAIG's, Second Level Test 3. We went down to the covered for warm-up and Buddy started off ok but as we went along he got tighter and crankier. I tried to work him through it with Lynn coaching but it was not easy. I had him in a nice place before we went in, so I was hopeful going into the test. Unfortunately, I was wrong. His trot work was very nice and then it all went to hell starting with the back-up. It was tense and dragging. The free walk was distracted and in the canter he was tight as a tick. There was no relaxation and I tried hard to help correct and loosen him but it was in vain. He broke twice in the second counter canter tear drop. I left the test very upset and deflated. But, my teammates were supportive and Lynn said we would redeem ourselves on Saturday. We were two % points behind the winner with a 62.042% and ended up 2nd with some nice comments but some realistic ones as well. Thanks Kem Barbosa, you were very generous and gave us our first qualifying score!  

Saturday my ride was early and I was determined to make this ride better. This time we were riding the BLM qualifier and in my opinion a much easier test than the day before. Lynn was absent from the first half of our warm-up due to technical difficulties with the golf-cart (i.e. it wouldn't move!). But when she got there, man did we get down to business! Soft forward trot with active hind legs, slower canter with soft neck were the goal. We practiced in the back of the property closer to my show ring in a covered arena with very deep footing which slowed Buddy down and ended up giving him more cadence. It worked! We went in and nailed that test! It had a little bobbles like the fact that I added a circle at K because I had a flash back of test 3...oops! Other than that, it was a great ride. We ended up with 4th place and 65.132% in a large class. Yet again we made our qualifying score so we are going to BLMs in Lexington in October, yeehaw!!! The rest of the day was spent with my teammates rooting them on and calling tests for my friend Lauraine which resulted in hysterical laughing and tears! We were a mess but it was a great day. Everyone got together in the evening for a barbecue dinner and door prizes which 4 people in our group won! Overall, not a bad day!

Sunday was brutal! The night before we had HORRENDOUS thunder storms that the rest of the state had been getting all weekend. Lucky enough, we were blessed by the weather gods and only got a little drizzle, some thunder and a beautiful rainbow. My first ride was at 10 but I had to share my warm-up with Lynn with my friend Rhonda who was also riding close to 10 in her I-1 qualifier. Buddy and I ended up with the same warm-up we had Friday night, tight, tense and inattentive. I was left on my own 20 min. before show time so Lynn could help Rhonda. Again, I thought I had gotten him under control but Buddy had other plans. We were in a different ring than Friday but next to the one from Saturday. Regrettably, Buddy saw a VAST difference in the rings since there was empty, "horse-eating" chairs next to this ring. I got his attention back but then the fates laughed in my face and put people in the once empty, "horse-eating" chairs. That rocked Buddy's world. This was my second qualifying ride for GAIG's and it was going to go just about as well as the first one did. His trot work again was good but the canter was a blooming mess! He stopped in one of the simple changes to stare at the people in the chairs. Literally, he would not move. I was getting worried that we were going to get eliminated since we were not going anywhere. Finally, I got him to move but man was it tight. We ended up with 5th and a 60.478 but the judge made my day with her comment of "Lovely Pair. Didn't want to work today. Scores will improve when he is more cooperative!" It cracked me up. We didn't get the score we need but we got some more experience out of the deal. 

I must have been tired, over-enthusiastic, or just delusional when I signed up for a second test on Sunday. It is my least favorite test to compete to date (Second 1) but it was a money class. So, I worked hard the previous week to really master the moves and figured I would just see how it went. Because the test was only an hour after my first one, I decided to stay on him and just walk to help him relax and only did  a few minutes of warm-up by myself. We went into the test much more reserved but completed a relaxed Second 1 that ride that is probably the best Second 1 I have done on any horse to date. Sadly, after watching the video, the test was more than conservative it was under ridden and very lack luster. In the amateur stakes class we came in 2nd with a 60.571% but ended up with no money since they combine the open and amateur divisions to determine the handout. Womp, womp :( Oh well, we did it! We got through an arch nemesis of mine (Second 1) and got a couple of qualifying scores in the process. Buddy is taking a few days off but come Thursday we are back to grind and we will own Second Level Test 3 come May!

One last lesson before the storm....

I COMPLETELY forgot to blog about my lesson weekend in February. So, now I'm running around like a total nutter updating things (mainly my severely neglected blogs), packing, and getting ready for the first show of the season! Ah! Where did the time go?!?! But I digress, let's begin...

The title of this blog is ever so appropriate since all we have been having the past few days is storms. I had my lesson last Wednesday on a gorgeous, rain-free afternoon. Since the last lesson weekend (yea, the one I forgot to blog about...doh!) was about my lack of a nice collected canter, my homework was (yet again) a half-halted, up, light, slower, with active hind-leg canter...not too much to ask, right? I worked for a month on just that! Lynn watched me warm-up at the trot and something new I had not heard before left her lips, "Wow!" and there were LOTS of them. His trot was relaxed, supple and super rideable. We didn't do much since the trot was so spot on. We moved onto the canter with hopes I would hear the same amount of "wow's" as the trot, unfortunately not as many but she did notice a big change in quality! Yay, one step at a time right?!?!

We worked on more half-halts to just slow him a bit more. My new problem is instead on pulling him down into the simple changes, I have left his head alone so that the transition will not be affected but in doing so, I end up dropping him by not doing anything. We did a few more simples both directions and then I really made a wrong move. I guess now I can't look at it as a bad decision because I needed to work on it anyways since the show is in...oh, 3 days!!! I asked Lynn to look at the counter-canter to evaluate where we were. I also opened my big mouth and told her of my severe dislike of the counter-canter, especially the counter-canter serpentine in Second Level Test 1. But, because I signed up to do all three tests at least once this weekend, I was made to run through all the ways counter-canter is done in the tests. Since the first one didn't go so well (rushing, on the forehand, rider not doing much to stop the first two problems, etc. You know, the normal!), the new exercise was 20m counter-canter circles each direction. This was FAR harder than the original exercise but Lynn did this so that way when I went back to the serpentine or the tear drops from Second 3, it wouldn't be so foreboding. After much griping and whining, I did the hard circles then ran through the serpentine again and wouldn't ya know it, much easier: more balanced and hey those half-halts really do work when you sit up and ask for them!

Overall, really great lesson especially since it's the last one before the show this weekend. Since then, I've had 2 great rides and a not so great ride. We will get there on Thursday afternoon/evening and I'll ride him around the indoor since this is a new venue for the both of us. I'm nervous but really excited since I feel that we really have a good grasp on Second level this year and we're just about ready to start Third...yippee! See you in a few days!

Lesson Day...HURRAY!

This month has been a whirlwind of craziness! Weather-wise, we go from the 70's to the 40's back to the high 60's then down to the 20's at night...seriously, is this January?!?! I mean, I know some places are getting crazy snow or perfect weather for the most part (yea, I'm talking about you FL!) but this is just a little ridiculous for January in NC. Dear Weather Gods, Make up your mind please, preferably in the warmer direction :) Besides that, the rain has edited my riding and so has my new job! Yes, I said it, new job! I finally have my paralegal job which gets me more $$ to spend more time in the saddle but because I'm new at work, time in the saddle is not necessarily what I'm getting. Also, Buddy has had a rough couple of weeks with another biopsy on the lump on his face which was so painful it resulted in crazy swelling which he tried to alleviate by rubbing off all of the skin on the side of his face. The poor boy was a mess and that resulted in no riding for a week and a half. I finally start to get him back on the mend and last Sunday he coliced a little on me so tomorrow I will attempt to do a light workout with him. Anyways, Lynn was in town from FL this weekend which meant lesson time. Since, Buddy was feeling better but hadn't been ridden in a full week, I didn't think it was fair to subject him to a lesson. DJ was the lucky substitute! The funny thing about this horse is that he LOVES and I mean LOVES taking trailer rides. As soon as he saw the trailer pull up along side the barn, he started piaffing in the aisle as I as putting on his shipping wraps. On the way to the trailer, he picked up a trot and literally trotted onto the trailer. When he landed inside, the whole trailer shook and he started talking (his voice is much deeper than one would expect for his size or breeding) which meant, "Close the darn ramp and lets get moving! We have places to go and things to eat!"

We got to NSTC and it was PACKED! People were keeping horses overnight to partake in lessons tomorrow, some had horses on the trailer since they had already had lessons and were watching their fellow riders have their turn or they just finished and were packing up to go home. Lynn managed to squeeze me in during her lunch break today so we were right in the middle of all the commotion. It was funny because all of the horses around us were big flashy warmbloods and here comes my Napoleon-complex, Alpha-male, 14.3 Arabian gelding...he has no idea he's tiny because his presence is that of a 17.2 WB stallion! We went in right at the end of my friend Liz's lesson to warm up and man was he feeling good! We got right down to work in creating bend throughout his body and Lynn had me giving half-halts every stride in order to gain more cadence in the trot at shoulder-in since he tends to be quick and choppy when we start. He got better and better every stride showing that our work over the past month has been paying off and that he is getting stronger and more confident in himself. Next, we moved onto the canter and even though this is only his third lesson with Lynn, his canter was lightyears better than the first lesson! She was so impressed by just watching the left lead she wanted to work on the "FC"s at the end. YAY! She finally thought we were ready to start to tackle my evil nemesis the flying change but alas, that all changed after seeing the right lead. Even though the rhythm was better and he was adjustable, we still had a lot of problems with his bend. So, we went back to the walk and trot to do some really exaggerated  over-bending to the right and then back to the canter. When he started to lose it or get frustrated, we went back to the trot and sometimes walk just to reinforce the idea. He improved a lot with just that exercise. Lynn suggested instead of working on the changes themselves today (we would try again when she came back), we would just work on maintaining a nice uphill canter while just changing the bend. This way he would think this was no big deal and not associate bend change with flying change. The left was super easy and the bend came quietly on both sides. Cantering to the right proved more difficult because he was fine going straight and kind of bending to either side but not the other, meaning we could go straight and bend left but not right or we could go straight and bend right but not left. Right at the end he was getting a little tired in the canter but when I brought him back down to trot he felt like he was ready to do the whole trot tour of the Third 1 test, what a silly boy! I had to halt and relax his neck before we could go back to the nice cadence trot we had at the beginning just to stretch him down at the end. Overall, what a great lesson, we definitely improved over just a couple months and next time we come back I'm sure we going to be able to at least show Lynn what we can do as far the "FC" is concerned. But for now I can be content with today, and I have the basic plan for Buddy tomorrow even though I was inspired by watching all the great freestyles from the World Dressage Masters Palm Beach on the usefnetwork!  

First Post of 2012!!!

YAY!!! Happy New Year :) This is is gonna rock! I can feel it deep down in my toes...new job, great rides, maybe new rides?!?! (ok, I have to be a little realistic here, probably not gonna happen but one can always dream!). I have my new goals ready for this year. I am also refraining from referring to them as resolutions, because a friend once said "Resolutions can be made and completed anytime as long as one has the strength to go through with them." Goals are different because because it's something that you would like to complete during the time-frame of a year but your life will not be better or worse if you don't. SO, let's get on with them:

2012 Goals:

• Finish that darn USDF Bronze Medal!!! 
• Qualify for GAIG's & BLM's at Second and Third Level
• Get into better physical condition - last year I set a goal for lbs. lost and I accomplished that but this year I want muscle along with it...that means, ugh, working out :(
• Get to at least one clinic this year (audit or riding)
• Read 20 books with at least 1 being a book to help my passion for the sport

I think these are realistic and achievable goals, not too many and not too vague!

And now, for the new announcement....I have started another Blog (*gasp* I know, right?!?!). It is still about the adventures of my boys and I, but it is only about the training that the three of us do at home. I'm using a book that is all about dressage exercises as inspiration and cannot wait to get started! Check it out  at http://amateurdressagetrainingjournal.blogspot.com/. Hope everyone has had a great start to the New Year! Until next time, Happy Riding :)

Year End Wrap Up!!

Well, It's that time of year again...time to look back and see exactly what we did through the year that was productive (and in some cases not!) and if we stuck to any of our initial goals planned for the year.


First, let's start with what I accomplished this year...I rode all of my horses as much as I could. Buddy went to five horse shows at Second Level and came away with 7 Firsts, 4 Seconds, 1 Fourth, 3 Fifths, High Score Second Level and a Reserve High Score Petite Mount!!! DJ went to his first lessons in over a year and plans have been made for next season. Khakie has continued to improve his dressage basics and there may be an outing planned in the next couple of months. Because of this, I have been enlightened about physical fitness and healthy eating. Next year is going to be even better because of it, but more on that later.


I also completed my Paralegal Certification at the University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill. It was a great experience and am hopeful for this new opportunity to provide me the finances I need to keep doing what  love :) This also gives me the ability to be a Notary Public and at the same time I'm re-learning French and Russian and just now beginning German. I have to say I'm having a great time and will definitely make a shout out to MindSnacks, my App that helps me learn all these fun languages! 


Now, time to rehash this year's "resolutions" to see how I did! Blue will be for completed tasks, Red for uncompleted and Underlined for resolutions that were edited.


Resolution/Goals for 2011

• Finish the requirements for my Bronze Medal - Nope, hopefully next year!
• Qualify for the USDF/GAIG Region 1 Championships and Arabian/Half-Arabian Sport Horse Nationals in whatever level I choose to compete at this year - I did! Second Level Amateur for both and received a Dover Medal in the process :)
• Continue going to lessons, clinics, and any other form of continuing my education in dressage - Unfortunately, no clinics this year but did try to stay as current on my learning as I could which included lessons every other week and coaching at horse shows.
• To keep improving myself with every ride on every horse by maintaining patience and an open mind - I've decided to change this one from a goal to an everyday riding motto
• Lose 15lbs to fit into my beautiful new show coat - Achieved! but after the holidays I really might need to do this again :)
• Generally be healthier with food (portion control) and exercise (actually doing some besides riding!) - this one can be added to the weight loss one because if I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have lost the 15lbs
• Go to a play/concert  - currently scheduled for January 19th - Not only did I get to go see the Lion King but I got to see Spamalot as well...too much fun!!!
• Enjoy more activities with my family
• Finish at least 10 books this year - This is a biggie! Not only did I complete this one but I tripled it! Here's a list of all of them:

January

World Fall: Book 2 of The Seven Circles Trilogy - Douglas Niles

The Goddess Worldweaver: Book 3 of The Seven Circles Trilogy - Douglas Niles

February

Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister - Gregory Maguire

A Lion Among Men: Third Year of the Wicked Series - Gregory Maguire

March

Mirror, Mirror - Gregory Maguire

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larsson

April

Lost - Gregory Maguire

Ghosthunting Virginia - Michael J. Varhola

The Dark Tower: Treachery - Stephen King (Graphic Novel)

May

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Vol. 1 - Allan Moore & Kevin O’Neill (Graphic Novel)

The Girl Who Played with Fire - Stieg Larsson

June

 On Stranger Tides - Tim Powers

 Prince Caspian - C.S. Lewis

 The Voyage of the Dawn Treader - C.S. Lewis

July

The Silver Chair - C.S. Lewis

The Last Battle - C. S. Lewis

August

Locke & Key: Keys to the Kingdom - Joe HIll & Gabriel Rodriguez (Graphic Novel)

Tiger’s Curse - Colleen Houck

Tiger’s Quest - Colleen Houck

September

The Pillars of the Earth - Ken Follet

October

The Night Circus - Erin Morgenstern

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark - Guillermo Del Toro

November

Dreamless Issue #1 - Bobby Crosby & Sarah Ellerton (Graphic Novel) 

Tiger’s Voyage - Colleen Houck

Atomic Robo FCBD Edition - Brian Clevinger & Scott Wegener (Graphic Novel)

Eragon: Inheritance Book 1 - Christopher Paolini (Audiobook)

December

Eldest: Inheritance Book 2 - Christopher Paolini (Audiobook)

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (Audiobook)

Through the Looking Glass - Lewis Carroll (Audiobook)

Witch and Wizard: The Fire - James Patterson 

• Get a new job that will help better support my love of the big 4-legged beasties - Still currently working on that one :)

All in all, I'd say it wasn't too bad of a year! Although I lost some special people in my life, I know they are looking down on me and are proud of the person I'm becoming. I have some exciting things planned for next year that include the ponies, fitness, and some other adventures, but I'll talk about that in the next blog...bis später (until later)!!!

Reflections, Revelations and Relaxation!

Thanksgiving has come and gone and I'm only a couple of pounds heavier because of it...joy! That's not too bad because Christmas is only mere weeks away and I KNOW I will just keep adding to the pounds I happily lost this year. But besides fabulous food and family bonding, I thought (as I do every year at this time) about the things I was thankful for. Family of course tops the list while my boys (ponies and puppy) are a close second. I said a quiet prayer for the ones not able to be at Thanksgiving this year...my grandmother (although she passed a few years ago, she was always with us at this time and loved this holiday), my friend Kay, and my Uncle Mike we lost last month to pneumonia although he was a survivor of Vietnam and Throat Cancer. I miss them all greatly even though I know they look down on me every day. But I think besides just people, I am thankful for the experiences I have been able to have this year whether they be equine or not. I love my family, my boys and my life. It seems to just get better all the time!

Enough of the reflections, onto the revelations! The day before Turkey Day, I was able to squeeze in a lesson with Lynn on DJ. It's always so pleasant taking DJ out, he is the perfect traveler. I'm talking self-loader, no drama, hauls like a dream perfect traveler. And with just me and dad, it makes the whole process a lot easier. Well, we got there and started warming up and then it was immediately off to work. The first lesson was just an evaluation. Because she knew what she was dealing with now, we immediately started on bending and flexing exercises for his tight little body. Travers, renvers, shoulder-in and half-pass were repeated through the entire session of trot work which really seemed to get easier since the last time we came for a lesson. The canter work started on the forehand and sluggish. After some editing (i.e. fixing how the rider was using her reins to speak to her horse, sitting up and back in the saddle, and working on getting his hind end more active and underneath him) the canter became more up and out and active! Hurray!!! We ended with some nice relaxed trot stretching and a plan for next time...do everything we did in the lesson and the flying changes shouldn't (in theory) be so...exuberant :)

The part of the lesson where Lynn addressed my hands can be considered my biggest revelation. It was fascinating! She stopped me, took my hands and showed my little things that she did that spoke volumes on the reins. I had always thought I had quiet hands, and apparently I do but that is the problem...they are too quiet. I can move my fingers but only in just a couple of ways which obviously wasn't doing the trick. Now I have a whole arsenal under my belt and boy, are they helpful! Since the lesson, while riding both my boys I have been kicking myself to remember the techniques we discussed in order to be more effective in the saddle. I'm happy to announce, I have a had some pretty fabulous rides lately!

After Thanksgiving, I decided to take 2 days off for myself. No riding just checking on the boys and administering meds when needed. My mom and I decided to brave the mall on Black Friday and managed to survive with 1 Christmas gift and a few very good deals on sweaters for us :) Then I got sick and had to take another day off. I started back yesterday with some great rides which was a lovely way to start "back to reality".